


Something Like That

by stariter



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 01:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13964391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stariter/pseuds/stariter
Summary: “Zeb. I…“ Kallus finally spoke, but his voice cracked and he trailed off. He couldn’t seem to make eye contact. Neither of those were good signs, either. “Why would you show me this?”Zeb shifted his weight. “Well, I mean – you know what this is, right?”“Lira San. I’m guessing that back then, I inadvertently helped you and the rest of the Spectres discover it. And even further before then, I participated in the Lasan genocide and forced your entire species to relocate in the first place.” Kallus’s voice was unflinching. Unknowingly, Zeb’s ear twitched and he himself flinched slightly. He hadn’t heard Kal sound so steely since his Imperial days.





	Something Like That

**Author's Note:**

> i really didn't like the lira san scene because it kind of skimmed over the fact that kallus never actually like.... even apologized for literally murdering zeb's entire people.. and i just feel like. he's never going to truly get redemption and that's ok!! but we need to make that clear

Kallus felt Zeb’s breath ghost over the back of his neck, as the Lasat took a deep breath in. “Is everything alright?” Kallus asked, slightly amused. Zeb had been uncharacteristically quiet the entire trip there. When he had proposed going on a “surprise vacation”, Kallus had gladly accepted.

Ever since arriving on Yavin 4 after the disaster at Atollon, he had been quietly pleased by Zeb’s friendliness towards him. Given their history, he had expected to be shut out of the Ghost crew’s tight-knit group right away. He never could have dreamed that Zeb would even tolerate his presence, much less that they would continue to work together. They had grown quite close, the two of them. As sparring partners, as rebels, and maybe (Kallus dared to hope) as friends. 

Reflecting on this now, Kallus began to feel slightly worried. Perhaps he had imagined their recent companionship. It would not be the first time he had grown drunk on his delusions – he had dedicated almost his entire life to the Empire, after all. With the way Zeb was acting, Kallus wondered if agreeing to this vacation on a whim was a mistake. “Garazeb, please. Can you remove your hand now?” He asked, proud of himself for not letting his voice shake. 

A quiet exhale came from behind him. “Yeah, sure, Kal. Didn’t mean to freak you out.” Of course. Even when Kallus removed all emotion from his voice, Zeb would still catch on. He was annoyingly perceptive like that. “I’m just…” Here he chuckled to himself, almost in disbelief. “A bit nervous, if you can believe it.”

That did not help to calm Kallus’s nerves. Clearly he had overstepped his bounds at some point, and this was Zeb’s way of pulling him far, far away from the rest of the crew to have a conversation about it. That was fair enough. Zeb had every reason to hate him and so many more. Kallus could try as he may to achieve redemption, but it was a hopeless cause. He’d known this from the beginning, but persisted anyways. He had foolishly hoped that if Zeb ever did close himself off from…. whatever their relationship was, he would continue to guide Kallus on this new path. 

Carefully, the Lasat removed his large paw from Kallus’s face and stepped away. Golden eyes blinked, taking in the sight outside their ship. Zeb sucked in another deep breath without realizing it, anxious to discern the agent’s reaction. Zeb gave him a quick glance over to scan for any emotion. Kallus could be difficult to read at times, given his ex-Imperial background. Over the past few years, Zeb had managed to coax him out of his habits but occasionally, in times of stress or panic, he would slip back into his own ways. At first, Zeb saw shock wash across Kallus's face. Then realization, tinged with the slightest amount of horror, and finally, sadness. 

Zeb frowned. That couldn’t be good.

“Zeb. I…“ Kallus finally spoke, but his voice cracked and he trailed off. He couldn’t seem to make eye contact. Neither of those were good signs, either. “Why would you show me this?”

Zeb shifted his weight. “Well, I mean – you know what this is, right?”

“Lira San. I’m guessing that back then, I inadvertently helped you and the rest of the Spectres discover it. And even further before then, I participated in the Lasan genocide and forced your entire species to relocate in the first place.” Kallus’s voice was unflinching. Unknowingly, Zeb’s ear twitched and he himself flinched slightly. He hadn’t heard Kal sound so steely since his Imperial days.

“You would never forget that, obviously.” Kallus sounded more tired, more defeated now. “I- I see now. Go ahead and say what you brought me here to say, please.” His voice was tinged with a kind of knowing sadness; although for what reason, Zeb couldn’t figure out. 

“Well,” Zeb began again, and cursed himself for sounding so timid. These past few years in the Alliance, he had garnered himself quite the reputation as ‘that hardass Lasat colonel’ and he wasn’t about to let that façade slip in front of Kallus. That wasn’t what their weird, quasi-friendship was built on. Zeb could get emotional if the situation called for it, yes, but the two of them were both soldiers at heart. He needed to be firm about this.

“Alexsandr.” He started once more, noting the way that Kallus winced. He knew that Kallus hated the use of his given name, but, karabast, if it got him listening, he could suffer through it. “I didn’t bring you here to shove your past in your face, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Zeb paused. “Actually, I take that back – technically, that is what I intend to do. But not in a cruel way. I know that what happened on Lasan hangs over your head, and nothing either of us can say or do is going to fix it.”

Kallus was watching him with an odd expression on his face. Emboldened, Zeb pressed forward. He had had a lot of time to think about what he wanted to say. With the constant peril of being at war with the Empire, they had never gotten the chance to have this conversation. It was long overdue. 

“Don’t think I never noticed the way that you buried yourself in work as soon as we arrived on Yavin. I noticed every time you took on a dangerous mission, because you felt that you had something to prove to the other rebels. Every time I led a mission and as my second-in-command, you would throw yourself in the line of fire before me like an idiot.” Zeb expected Kallus to flinch again with the way he emphasized the last word, but if anything, the ex-Imperial just seemed to straighten up a little more. 

“I know you struggled with war guilt. And I can’t say that I felt bad for you, not with the things you did, so I never said anything about it. We all deal with our trauma differently. If you wanted to deal with yours by getting yourself killed early on so you could just forget about all of it, who was I to stop you?” Zeb gave him a hard look. “But I think you know by now that that’s the coward’s path.”

“Yes.” His voice was barely a whisper. “It took me some time, but I realized.”

“Good.” Zeb allowed himself to express the barest of smiles. “And that leads me to why I decided you needed this little “vacation”.” He made air quotes with his paws. “We’re going to go down there, to Lira San, and you’re going to breathe it all in. You’re going to meet the people, see the sights, and understand the gravity of what could have happened if we’d really been wiped off the face of the galaxy forever. But more importantly, you are going to realize that it didn’t happen that way. You have a second chance here.”

Kallus waited patiently. He had a feeling of where this conversation was heading now. He would never smile about something so somber, of course, but he was beyond relieved that Zeb wasn’t shutting him out just yet. He didn’t know what he would do if the man he owed his life to just walked away from him.

“You’ll never be able to make up for what you’ve done. But I’ve seen you in action, and I know that you’re a strong, bull-headed guy, just like me. I’m hoping this trip will remind you of all the good that you’ve done by defecting from the Empire… the people that you’ve helped and will continue to protect.”

“I want you to understand why you have to keep working hard for redemption, even if it’ll never really come – because it’s just the right thing to do. I’m guessing you figured out that last part on your own, too.”

“That’s all I could ask for.” Kallus finally responds. “Thank you, Zeb.”

Zeb scoffed without thinking of it. “What are you thanking me for? I’m just giving you a kick in the rear to keep moving forward.”

Kallus rolled his eyes, and Zeb was glad to see it – glad to see him acting like his old self again. “You silly oaf.” He muttered under his breath. “For all your talk, you never seem to understand all the good that you’ve done.” He raised his chin, and looked into the other’s large green eyes. Zeb would never fully comprehend how grateful he was, but goddamn if he wasn’t going to try and drill his thanks through the Lasat’s thick skull anyways. 

“Thank you.” He repeated firmly. “I am completely undeserving of your help, yet you continue to give it. You changed my life forever, back on Bahryn, and you continue to change it now.”

Zeb blinked and took a moment to digest this. For once, he didn’t brush off the praise or punch Kallus in the shoulder with an uproarious laugh before moving on. “You’re welcome.” He responded simply. 

That was good enough for Kallus. However, he had another pressing concern. It was one that he had been terrified to bring up for as long as he could remember, for he feared the answer that Zeb would give. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again - “Can I ask a question?”

“Shoot.”

“What… what are we, exactly? Friends?”

Zeb shrugged. “Something like that. I mean,” He raised a large paw to scratch at the back of his neck. “And I don’t know if you feel the same way – but I’ve always felt… maybe, like a mentor of some kind? We’ve spent so much time together, after all. You were practically glued to my side at Yavin, seeing as you were too afraid to reach out to the other rebels. I kind of had to show you the ropes.” He teased.

Kallus flushed, but recovered quickly enough. He supposed that did sum up their relationship. “Ah. So should I refer to you as my master from now on, and take on the role of humble Padawan?” He regretted the words as soon as they escaped his mouth.

“Please let me rescind that, I was not thinking-”

Zeb gave a shake of his head, a small but sad smile playing on his lips. If only Kanan and Ezra could see them now. They had come such a long way; the Kallus in front of him was a far cry from the nervous, flighty Kallus on the bridge of the Ghost for the first time. “No, that’s the perfect analogy.” His small smile broke into a large grin. 

“Now then,” And here was that friendly physical contact, in the form of a solid slap on the back. Kallus staggered forward in an attempt to maintain his balance. He laughed good-naturedly nonetheless. 

“Yes?”

“Let’s go down there and I’ll show you around.”

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't done any creative writing in over 3 years and this is my first time posting on ao3 so go easy on me pls. comments and feedback would be appreciated


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